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Crescent

  • Oct. 6th, 2007 at 1:53 PM
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When he called, he made a sound that was a cross between a cat's meow and the lowing of a cow. He took a breath and thrust his head forward, slamming the vocalization deep into his gullet so that it began with a croaking, like the start of an ancient machine.

It came in threes, this noise, obviously picked up from his time around humans. Was it the mimic of an animal or the bleat of some piece of landscaping equipment? Wherever he's gotten in, in whatever secret corner of shiny things he'd discovered it, he was obviously fond of both the sound itself and the attention he'd get from making it.

And so it was, that I was sung to by a crow.

I arrived at Lake Crescent very late, speeding across the darkened Olympic highway while shuffling Rush songs. My finger throbbed from where I'd sliced it open on the cat food tin, a deep gash that had poured blood for half an hour and almost ended my trip before it began. The parking lot was empty; a complete silence, a starless night hung over the cabins. In the yellow haze, the humped shapes of a raccoon family could be seen making their way towards the water's edge. I tossed my belongings on the extra bed and settled in for the sleep born from an exhausting week.

Now I sit in the windowed lodge room, on wicker chairs. The same crow that sang to me this morning, who followed me around for half an hour, never more than 15 feet from me at all times, has arrived again and is surveying the lunching guests in the hopes that some small tidbit will be left behind. To my left, across the wide expanse of shimmering water, two anglers wade knee-deep and cast hope into the depths. A handful of boaters row lazily into the grey-white mist. A woman in red with long boots kisses her lover, not knowing that I am watching them.

Everyone is drawn to the pier, unable to resist walking to the very end. The compulsion is irresistible and I watch people try to pass by without giving in. But one by one, the instinctive pull, or the human desire for exploration, or the indescribable need to be joined with water, tugs them along the weathered planks towards those last few inches of wood.

The sun comes out to burn off the fog and it nears the midpoint of the afternoon. I've been awake for five hours and have no idea where the time went. This is a blissful realization, because I've done nothing but be. I've watched a sparrow mob leapfrog across the shoreline, pausing to gobble insects before lighting as one to land a few feet further on. I've watched the ducks quack-launch themselves off the driftwood and heard the sound of flickers and the symphony of birdsong to which I'm still unfamiliar after seven years.

And now the child takes off her bright orange life vest and the crowd noise from the last group of lunchers rises behind the plate glass. All day, alone in this room, I've had old woman and their daughters stroll in and remark on me. "Oh, he has his laptop". "He's all set up reading". "See that man, honey?" Seems that I too am this odd and fondly observed creature.

I'm already feeling more connected, like I can hear again. There's so much to be changed and reclaimed in my life. But for these two days, I'm happy to be a singing crow, alone with his shiny things and looking for tidbits.

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Comments

[info]imtboo wrote:
Oct. 6th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEEEEEE.
this makes me cuw caw loud and clear because whenever you mentioned that retreat, i always picture you in the wicker chairs on the veranda !
that's also where i pictured myself when i went to see that lodge. :)

so happy for you and sorry about the finger.
i'd give you mine, but that's not very polite.

love you sweet big brother.
thanks for doing what you need to do for yourself. it keeps me strong and alive.

boo
[info]bwb_archive wrote:
Oct. 8th, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
Thanks, Boo. Sometimes the things you need to do for yourself, you don't realize until you do them.
[info]streamsandpools wrote:
Oct. 6th, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC)
Hello my favourite odd and very fondly observed creature. Oh my god it is good to hear your writing voice again. I just scuttled home from a very different landscape, of many many humans crammed into a small space, noisier and more unbearable by the moment. As I left, almost panicky in my haste to escape, I spotted a red-leafed virginia creeper hanging over the fence and swaying, illuminated by the lights from the hall. It made me feel better. And now, your words they feel like water coursing through my dried out mouth....

I am *so* glad you are doing this, so glad you made it through all the obstacles into the stillness.
[info]bwb_archive wrote:
Oct. 8th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC)
Thank you. It was more worth it than I could have imagined. And the Wabi-Sabi books I read illuminated a writing path that I had never thought existed. Thank you for that as well.
[info]liralen wrote:
Oct. 10th, 2007 05:25 am (UTC)
Mmmm... I've felt that pull, too, to the end of the pier... to the water, to the end of comfortable exploration...

I love your words. :-)